


Happy Accident

by AnacondaGagaYonceYas



Category: Marvel, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Boss/Employee Relationship, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Drinking, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fuckbuddies To Lovers, Inspired By Tumblr, Loneliness, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Office Sex, Sadness, Sexting, Sexting gone wrong, Smut, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, sad drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 18:05:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16000523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnacondaGagaYonceYas/pseuds/AnacondaGagaYonceYas
Summary: Bruce: Do you know why I called you into my office?Thor: Because I accidentally sent you a nude?Bruce, in the middle of pouring two bottles of wine: Accidentally?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first fic in this fandom and I hope you at least don't hate it!

_Nice,_ Thorthought, looking at the picture he took in the bathroom by his cubicle  _that is one good dick pic._ He then sent the picture to this guy he'd been talking to on Grindr, Heimdall, and left, bumping into his friend Natasha on the way.

"You have that look on your face," she said, tone deadly serious as though she was threatening to kill him.

"In literally don't have a look on my face," Thor replied, "my face is literally deadpan and expressionless."

"Your lips are sucked in, you're blushing, but it's slightly darker on the left side, your right eyebrow is slightly raised... you did something of the sexual nature in there."

"You got all that from looking at my face for 30 seconds?" Thor asked, completely stunned, "damn girl!"

"I was raised by KGB spies who died without being discovered," Nat replied, "give me 60 seconds and I can figure out what you specifically did in there."

"Okay Romanov," Thor said, "you're on."

After analyzing him for another 30 seconds, Natasha spoke, "you sent a dick pic."

"I don't know if I want to know how you know," Thor said, "but yeah, you're right."

"Well first thing I did? Check your hands. They're wet, signifying they've been washed and were involved in the process. Now, maybe your hands were washed because you did actually end up using the bathroom afterward and that's why you washed them. However, I never heard a flush. Next, I checked your groin. You're still hard, so you didn't masturbate because then your dick would be dead for a while. Now, I highly doubt you were edging in there since you called edging 'stupid' before, and I know you wouldn't get it hard for no reason because that's dumb. Additionally, you're an absolute slut. So what do I believe? I believe that you sent a dick pic to someone you plan on fucking later."

"You should be cast as a female Sherlock on a cheap Russian spin-off," Thor said, "I mean that honestly."

"I know," Nat said, "so, who's the person?"

"Well his name's Heimdall, he's tall, he's hot, he's rich, he's-"

"Anything about his personality or life?"  

"Well um, I don't really know much about him since I met him on Grindr, but I do know he has a big dick and likes it rough."

"Wow," Nat said with an eye roll.

Thor's heard his phone's text notification, "oh that's him then!" He took his phone out and saw that the notification wasn't from Heimdall, but from his boss, Mr. Banner, "the fuck?"

"What?'

"It's from Banner," Thor said, unlocking his phone while keeping eye contact with Nat, "what could he wan OH MY GOD!"

"What?" Nat asked.

Instead of telling her, he showed the phone to Nat. The screen's contents were: a picture of Thor's penis as well as a text reading _Please come to my office immediately._

"Nat I'm so fucked!" Thor cried, "What do I do?"

"First off, stop crying, and second off, start crying when he tries firing you. Straight up, just, get on your knees and beg."

Normally Thor would scoff at that, but this was no time to scoff. So he collected himself, said "you're right," to Nat, and went to Banner's office.

When he walked in, he saw that Banner was pouring two bottles of wine. He'd heard he does this when he plans on firing someone -- has a drink of wine with them to "ease the pain" or some shit  _I'm fucked._

Without looking at him, Banner asked: "do you know why I asked you into my office?"

"Because I accidentally sent you a nude?"

"Accidentally?" Banner said, suddenly stopping pouring the wine. 

"Sorry?"

"I just thought maybe I'd finally got something I wanted for once."

"Apologies?"

"You," Banner said, "I wanted you."

"Sir," Thor said, "I'm not sure how appropriate this is."

"Okay, you can go," Banner said, "just, don't say anything to HR?"

"Sure," Thor said, leaving.

"So? What happened?" Nat asked when Thor was about to enter his cubicle. 

"Let's um," Thor replied, "let's not speak of it. But hey. All that matters is that I wasn't fired." 

"Great," Nat said, "I'm going back to my cubicle."

Thor went inside his cubicle. He then downloaded the picture he sent to Banner and sent that to Heimdall, and went back to work.


	2. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That same night

The "date" with Heimdall was something of a flop. Heimdall was a top and although Thor was also a top, he was fine with bottoming. However, the problem arose when they were actually having sex. Heimdall refused to go punishingly rough the way Thor liked because he was "too scared of hurting him". In the middle of some gentle, ambient, and boring sex, he just said "fuck it," and proceeded to leave. As he was getting dressed, he heard a disappointed Heimdall plead "stay, please!" Without even looking at him, he said "apologies Heimdall, but you were never good to me."

Once he left, he looked around him. The streets were empty, the stores were closed, the windows of the houses were dark, the only lights were from the streetlamps, and there weren't even any cars driving  _Jesus fucking Christ this place dead._ When he looked behind him, he saw that Heimdall had turned off his lights as well. 

He checked the time, it was only 9 pm  _okay great it's not too late._ He went back to the city and went to his favorite gay bar. Much to his disappointment, there was nobody there he was really attracted to. But it was still a Friday night and he was absolutely  _not_ ending it without sex. Sitting at the bar, he downed another tequila shot and looked out onto the dance floor one last time. He still didn't find someone he desperately wanted to fuck. He was about to give up, but then he remembered the events of this morning  _Banner!_

He took out his phone and texted his boss:  _Hey boss, you mind if I ask where you are?_

Within seconds, Banner replied  _My office. I'm staying here all night because I have way too much work to do today that I can't leave for tomorrow._

Thor then texted  _...But it's 9:40_

Banner replied with  _Whatever._

_What do you need?_

Thor replied with  _Wanna have sex?_

To which Banner replied  _What?_

Thor responded with  _I'm bored and horny, and I really want sex_

Banner replied  _Eh. What the fuck. Come to my office. Pick up some wine on the way. I already finished the bottle in my office._ _  
_

Thor replied  _Damn girl you finished an entire bottle yourself?_

Banner:  _It wasn't just me drinking. I had to fire some people. Then I also spilled some, so there's that._

Thor:  _White or red?_

Banner:  _Red. Obviously._

Thor:  _On my way._

* * *

 

As he was waiting for an elevator to the top floor where Banner's office was with a bottle of pinot noir in his hand, a thought crossed his head:  _is Banner married?_

By the time that the elevator finally arrived, the thought had taken over Thor's entire brain, and he was slowly getting kind of turned off. He considered texting Bruce and asking, but then he thought  _it's much easier to lie via text than in person._

Once he was finally in Banner's office, he saw Banner in a state that he hadn't been in since he was a college student: on the verge of a stress-caused mental breakdown. When Banner finally looked away from his computer long enough to notice Thor's presence, he said: "did you bring the wine?"

"Yes," Thor answered, "hey uh, quick question: are you married?"

Bruce lowered and looked away and with a sigh, answered "no."

"Oh thank God," Thor replied, "do you wanna drink first or just get right to it?"

"Before answering the question of whether or not I was married, I would've said 'get right to it', but now I just wanna ask you to bring two more bottles of wine."

Thor chuckled a bit before realizing that he was serious and said: "oh you actually meant it." When Bruce nodded, Thor went out to find the nearest liquor store and bought two more bottles of pinot noir before returning to the office.

Once he got back, he saw that Banner'd already drunk more than half the bottle and was sitting on the floor leaned up against his desk. "Uh, Banner," Thor said, "why the hell did you just drink most of the bottle?"

"Depression, mostly," he answered, "the other part is in celebration of the fact that the fact that all the deals that I wanted to close have been finally closed."

"One: congratulations on that, and two, okay buddy, talk to me what's got you down?"

"I'm 45, unmarried, living alone, and was about to have sex with an  _employee._ Everyone I know within 10 years of my age is settled down and happy and I'm... all alone Thor."

"Oh, Banner.." Thor started to say as he sat down next to Banner with the bottles.

"Call me Bruce."                            

"Listen I know how it feels to be lonely too," Thor said, "but that doesn't mean it has to suck. Just take that feeling of 'loneliness' and turn it into 'being alone and loving it!'"

"That made no sense," Bruce replied, "I know you're trying to be relatable or helpful or whatever, but you're young and attractive and have time."

"Okay you're attractive too," Thor replied, "if you weren't hot as fuck I would not have hit you up."

"Thanks."

"And you have time. You always have time."

"No, you have time," Bruce said, "you're only 30. Not to mention you're having all the fun in the world. Going clubbing and fucking someone new every weekend."

"Oh come on Bruce," Thor replied, "do you honestly think this is what I wanted?"

"Well, yeah."

"I'm 30 and spend my weekends with one-night stands because I never settled down and can't find a relationship," Thor replied, face slowly turning grim, "oh God I just bummed myself out."

As Thor reached for one of the full bottles of pinot noirs with the intentions of downing it, Bruce said: "you still wanna have sex?"

Thor, after finishing the whole bottle, answered, "I'm sorry, but not anymore to be honest."

"Same here Thor," Bruce said, reaching for the almost-empty bottle so he could finish it, "same here".

They then cried silently and finished the last bottle together and passed out 

**Author's Note:**

> SUbscribe cause more is to come. Also, comments would be nice.


End file.
